there's no going back

I feel really bad for not trusting someone or, talking bad about someone that is close to me. But if someone didn't do this beforehand, it wouldn't happen after all. After having a talk, I do feel I was acting immature, in fact, fighting over this and that, arguing or proving things I know to show someone's unwisdom. I thought I was right in the first place, no until someone's leaving has awaken me. Someone that I used to have nice conversation with. I just did too much to please someone. Some words are easy to utter but so hard to deal with. Your bland replies had indeed made realize it is better to end it up. How native of me , thinking we can break down barriers perhaps.Then I found out the way somebody thinks. Maybe maybe, I could be overreacted. I have a petty mind. I dont know and I dont wanna get involved in all these shits. The worst part of it is, I just realize how non independent I am. I dont dare to tell somebody I am sorry, I just wish we could go back to the way we used to be, I know I freaked you out.